infinite randomness

a while later

2007-05-26T05:22:00.000-07:00

Its been many months.... But am used to this phase thing now. There is a lot to write about, but most of it happens in my head. So many many things. from a sound theory of life (was listening to the muezzin call) to a number theory of Creation (Yeah, the one with a capital C... felt like the centre of the universe when thinking that one through ;) ).

My scenery's been changing quite dramatically and yet, not at all.

For now, some haiku :) I wrote this for an informal writers meet, on the themes 'scape' and 'celebration.'

*scape*
*
dirty white
empty foolscape
stares back
*
treading softly
through dreamscape
somnambulation
*
half moon slits
still monitor
e-scape
*
waves of sunlight
kiss gently
land's cape
*
ignorant bleat
impending sacrifice
scape goat
*
baby's cape
swinging to and fro
destiny
*

*celebration*
*
ten steps down
the red carpet
celeb ration
*

*On Ganesh Chaturthi*
*
comma in clay
God
punctuated
*
clay trunks at harbor
no escape
even for the gods
*

(c) Deepa

hello world!

2006-10-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

Wild wind! stars, blue sea, vast sky! Am happy today :)

I feel it, it's coming

2006-10-04T09:07:00.000-07:00

Rain....
feel it on my finger tips
hear it on my window pane
your love's coming down like...

Rain....
wash away my sorrow
take away my pain
your love's coming down like...

Rain....

and my heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds that rise from the lake to the trees..... my heart wants to sigh like the chimes that fly from the church on a breeze.... to laugh like a brook when it trips and falls over stones on its way (on its way!)... to sing through the night, like a lark who is learning to pray!

ladies and gentlemen, wild wind, birds, stars and butterflies, hark!! the monsoon arrives in chennai! :)))

Durga

2006-09-30T05:38:00.000-07:00

Ashtami :) Sitting in my office in Chennai, my mind is seeped in the sights, sounds and smells of Durga Puja in Calcutta... What a joyous powerful time!! The mesmerising sound of the Cymbals... the thunderous Dhak sending shock waves up your spine... the smoke... wafting aroma of bhog.. the singsong "paat" read by the priest... and Ma :) She of the lolling tongue and fiery eyes, numerous hands and deadly weapons, lions, beheaded demons, bejewelled crown and bewitching smile... Look at her! and hear hear! hear the dhak and the cymbals and the ghanti... get engulfed in the smoke... say "MA!" and let go...

trip out

2006-07-27T01:25:00.000-07:00

... after ages! visited Chidambaram this weekend... Oh man, overwhelming! A beautiful temple dedicated to the Lord of Dance - and the Universe. The world is said to exist only as the Dance of Shiva. In his movement.

Which is precisely what quantum physics says - in a different way... Every particle animated... So much that you are no longer sure if its a particle! It has to be a pure energy wave... but hey, you can see it, and if there's enough of it you can touch & feel it... no, it has to be a particle.... Or both may be? Maybe neither... does it exist at all, except in your imagination? :)

Read Fritjof Capra's 'Dance of Shiva'. Am sure his work is not the first in integrating modern physics with ancient Eastern philosophy, yet it was a first for me...

Surprised to find an article on Nanotechnology in this month's RD. Wrote a paper on it once (all copied from the net, in the days when someone had to teach me how to log on to the Internet, note the capital I, and what 'search' meant... just 8-9 years ago, but what a difference in lifestyle, intelligence, access to info, connectedness (on top of connectivity)!). The upshot of the paper was that nanoelectronics & nanotechnology is cutting edge research stuff and is going to hugely impact the way we live. The professor thought we should have done more 'practical' work. I saw that article in RD and basked in a sort of retroactive glory. Ha! I knew this was a winner long before the world took notice. I surfed those crudely done html pages and saw potential in a new way of thinking! Ha again!

But cutting the crap - Chidambaram was awesome! The gopuram is woven out of gold leaves - 21,600 of them, to signify the number of breaths a human being takes in a day. The leaves are nailed with 72,000 nails denoting the number of nerves in a human body. The Lord dances in Chittrambalam, with the Ponnambalam in front of him. The secret chamber of Chidambaram is to his right...

This secret chamber signifies a concept that highlights how brilliantly subtle our philosophy is. The Universe is made up of Panchabhutas - the five elements of Earth, Water, Fire, Air and Space. There are several spots in the world where a particular energy is highest. Chidambaram resonates to Space. It is in Space that the Lord dances, and it is this Space that is worshipped. As the cymbals twang, the aarti lights are waved in front of the dark chamber - you strain your neck and perk up and see - nothing. Or rather, you see Space. Adorned with a few strands of golden Konrai flowers slightly swaying in all this excitement, is Space. What is nothing, is everything. This is the Space of the Universe, the Space in your heart, the Space between people - it can be nothing, or everything.... And just as the Lord dances in Chittrambalam - literally, the Space of Cit, or Mind - He dances in Perambalam - the Big Space - what we like to call - Life, the Universe & Everything.

Chidambaram is a meeting point. Between the miniscule and the magnificent. Between concept & creation. A portal that connects several worlds. That connects the Space of your Mind with that of the Universe - till you realize they are the same.

to post or not to post....

2006-07-11T12:05:00.000-07:00

.... thats not the question. the question is - if the anticipation of an audience feeds back into the writing itself, if I'm running a critical voice simultaneously, why blog?

go away, voices :) let me go mad in peace.

omg!

2006-07-02T01:25:00.000-07:00

just read this http://metaphilm.com/philm.php?id=29_0_2_0

brilliant thot. lemme think abt it nw.

Infinite auto rides

2006-07-02T00:47:00.000-07:00

To work, from work, to friends', to anna's.... the auto drivers community of chennai is richer thanks to me. Should have bought a car a long time ago - the usual reason I give people is that I need to learn how to drive and that means I need to get up at 6 am for 15 days - imposs! (has been imposs at least till now - mom despairs of my ever growing up.. wot is it with growing up and getting up early? there's this cousin who has three little kids - she practically never goes to sleep.... she crashes at nearly 11 or 12, the kids are wide awake and falling all over her, so she can only sleep till they've finally tired and she's up at 4 the next morning - cleaning, washing, cooking, uniform, lunchbox, naivedyam for the daily puja, breakfast, lunch, veggies, milkman, servant.. aaaarrghhhh)

Anyway, coming back to the subject of my autowallahs - i have an assortment of them. some regular, some new, some greedy, some kind and considerate... some drunk (yeah), some sleepy, some loud, some painfully slow, some heartstoppingly rash... and each day I mean to write about these people I spend at least two hours of the day with. My regular neighborhood guy whose daughter studies at the local "big" school.. she's in class 10 and his world revolves around her.. "Should I put her in science or commerce madam?" "Should she join spoken english class madam?" -Arre, let her talk with you, no need for class "What will she talk with me madam, we are all illiterate." Take the autowallah at the stand near my office. Fat, greedy, local dada. Got talking with him and it turns out he shares his name with my dad. And his sunsign! he visits the Angalaparameswari temple (some 80 km frm Chennai) every New Moon night... And does part time work as real estate broker... has travelled all over TN in his auto...

~the chronicle shall continue...

notpron

2006-07-02T00:33:00.000-07:00

.. is where am at these days. check it out, haven't gamed like that in years! www.notpron.com

may the force be with you!

J'ma moves on

2006-05-05T07:45:00.000-07:00

Jayamma passed away. Sunday, 30th April 2006. 8.30 am, in the ICU... without returning from coma.

oh no!

2006-03-23T23:30:00.000-08:00

the entire world is upset with me! my dad is upset coz I have been away the past week, my mom's upset coz I am not 'taking an interest,' my sis is upset coz the broadband's disconnected, my best friend is upset coz I have been out of touch! thats just for starters, the list has other people including ze boss, sundry gentry from other depts, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews... aaaarrrrggghhhh.

today!

2006-02-26T07:53:00.000-08:00

is Mahashivaratri! am planning to stay up the night. hopefully perform puja every yaama. Hail Lord Shiva. Hail Nataraja. Hail the five-faced Sadashiva - who is Ishana, Tatpurusha, Aghora, Vamadeva and Sadyojata. :)

Story goes that one dark moonless night, deep in the thickets of a dangerous forest, a hunter took shelter high up in a Bilva tree (Bel, Birch) to escape a tiger. The hungry tiger kept watch below, while the hapless hunter struggled to stay awake lest he fall down to his death. Nervously, he plucked a leaf and dropped it. And then plucked another.... and another.... till the fearsome night was at last beaten and the blessed rays of sunshine peeped in from a distance. Little did he know that in his anxiety, he had actually offered the sacred bilva leaves to a Shivalinga at the foot of the tree. It was now covered in hundreds of bilva leaves and Shiva, much pleased by this night-long worship - however inadvertent - appeared before the hunter and gave him moksha.

That night - is celebrated as Mahashivaratri. It falls on the fourteenth day of the waning fortnight of the Magh(Masi) month of the Indian calendar. The philosophical significance is brilliant! Just as the full moon wanes over fourteen days and becomes just a wisp of a crescent, our karma wanes over several births due to the grace of Shiva. And then, on the fourteenth night, with that persistent wisp of remaining karma, the soul yearns in desperation for Shiva, and heightens its fervent appeal to the Lord for deliverance in an all-night vigil on Mahashivaratri. The next day - the New moon day - signifies the final destruction of our continuing karma.

weird afternoon

2006-02-14T01:34:00.000-08:00

i am overcome by the feeling that there's something i was meant to do... and i am wasting time here.. but i have no clue what that something is... once in a while, i see some indications... like post-its from god... but dead-ends, non-starters, no-gos.... and in weird afternoons like this one, i am paralysed by fear that this is all that would ever be, and I just completely missed the point. Ok. Breathe in. Breathe out.

oh god!

2005-11-08T00:57:00.000-08:00

and I thought I was smart enough fault the one and only Douglas Adams!! Yech!

October

2005-10-04T00:11:00.000-07:00

the month I was born! another round 'round the ole yellow star. How much longer? I long for twin star systems in the horse head nebula... and of crs, my magic key.

just....

2005-09-05T01:13:00.000-07:00

each word
is poetry
each life
a novel
each sigh
a symphony

*

meaning
striving
searching
living?
life.

*

an evening
spent drinking
tea.

talking
to
at
with.

feeling
lost
and found.
round and round.

what didn't floyd say?

walking
to
from
with.

*

the bell jar

2005-08-31T00:53:00.000-07:00

for a person in the bell jar, the world itself is a bad dream...

why can't I get Plath out of my head?

i wonder why...

2005-08-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

... a bit of mascara, some face cream, a basic lipstick... and 5 minutes at the mirror.... has added such a dash of life into my day.

ahhhh.... to be human! I love it!

just thinking....

2005-08-03T05:58:00.000-07:00

infinite randomness

Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.

- George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)

evolving meanings....

2005-07-28T23:11:00.000-07:00

the 21st century has given new meaning to the word 'failure.' And I couldn't agree more. To see what I mean, check out 'failure' in google. :)

...have to say

2005-07-25T23:36:00.000-07:00

wot a morning!

more harry....

2005-07-21T22:00:00.000-07:00

am not a critic. at least when I read a book. i believe you need to completely immerse yourself in the art, experience it, be a part of it. and then you can come back to your world and see how you feel about it. so when i say the things i do, its not as a third person commentator - though at times the pseudo-intellectual in me struggles to be let loose. :)

so did i hate the book? no way! but i was disappointed. you see, though the book was written for children, it captured the imagination of a wide section of adults too - who doesn't love magic? This time round, Rowling did have a difficult task - to write about a 16 yr old (hitherto stuck in child hero mould) in a way that appeals to both sub-16 and super-25, while moving the story forward all the way. She does a good job. But she plays safe. There was the possibility of greatness, but she has chosen to trod risk-free avenues.

Yeah Deepak, the phoenix would live on. (thank god for that :) ) but the whole thing was rather sudden, and the after effect was so subdued - in the way people take the news... the dialogues post the death... I dont know... The 2 romances were also rather sudden... there was a definite overdose of snogging in ron's case - it could have been built up beautifully and her readers would have loved it! same's with harry - rather sudden, inexplicable. Its not *what* happens but the *how* of it... I wish she had taken time over all that... which is why I hold my theory that this book more than all the previous ones, was written with the big screen in mind.

but hey, this is all just technical... chewing the cud so to speak... reliving the experience! extending the story beyond the actual reading of the book... the bottomline is the story is bigger than rowling - its in public imagination now. however much i may crib about style n technique, i'd still pre-order the next harry potter book and still read it in one sitting on day one. thats because i love harry n ron n dumbledore n snape n voldemort (ha, i can say the name after all!), draco malfoy (yes him too) n hagrid n quidditch n fred n george (why werent they my bros) n most of all hermione (yeahyeahyeah) - i wish i were at hogwarts, i wish i cd walk thru platform 9 and 3/4ths and i wish i cd make potions n do transformations - i wish i cd ride a firebolt, look in the mirror of erised, pay invisible night visits to a giant's cottage - i love that world. I love it. after all, who can resist magic?

who dies?

2005-07-20T00:12:00.000-07:00

I know now. wont tell tho, dun worry. but how could she?! am devastated! I mean, what? well I guess thats the only logical person to kill off once you've announced to the world that someone's gonna die in this book... oh yeah - just finished reading HP & the half blood prince. and let me proudly announce that I guessed the identity of the much-talked-about hbp well before Rowling revealed it. but no, I didnt imagine the person who dies would be..

but enough moaning/ mourning. this book is different from rowling's earlier work in many ways... not only is it faster than the rest of the series but -
1. rowling's playing to an imaginary camera - the action sequences are more detailed, its more visual, its like she's helping you imagine it on big screen.
2. and she's obviously trying to catch the teen lingo of the times, but I wish she'd done more research than "just a mo" - she's put slang in several mouths that aren't quite used to it, and it comes off sounding a little unnatural. its also repetitive and tirsome.
3. its adult - lot of kissing, and dreaming of kissing - but I wish she'd found a better word than snogging - it reminds me of nose blocks and goo and dripping nostrils and snorting and... sorta makes me want to clean my nose and brush my teeth... but apart from the unfortunate terminology, the romance is also staccato... very contrived and sudden.
4. harry aint takin no shit from no one. he's makin up his own mind, wotcha know!

Overall, the book is a mishmash of thoughts. she knows the direction the story is moving and has drawn a dotted line from beginning to destination, with some entertainment along the way...
its funny in parts... still entertaining... but.... why am I not happy? ok, lunch awaits. more soon.

susie girl!!

2005-07-12T01:29:00.000-07:00

hey folks,

do you know when calvin first talked about susie? And what was the first thing they said to each other?

Cempulapeyanirar

2005-07-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

That is the name of a Sangam poet. It means 'he of the red earth and pouring rain.' What would it be like to be known to the world 2000 years later through one poem? Read on to see what I mean...

What could my mother be to yours?
What kin my father to yours anyway?
And how did you and I meet ever?
But in love
Our hearts have mingled
like red earth and pouring rain.

And here is the original Tamil verse in the Kuruntokai.

Interpretation of Dreams

2005-04-20T02:57:00.000-07:00

is what I'm reading these days. But Freud needn't have gone to all that trouble. Here's man called Piet Hein on the subj.

Simplified.
Everything's either
concave or -vex,
so whatever you dream
will be something with sex.

Bingo!

My Magic Key

2005-03-12T04:42:00.000-08:00

On clear winter nights in Pune, loafing in the campus grounds, my favourite pastime was to watch the skies. A different Universe I thought. All those stars and galactic dust... and all that mysterious darkness. Long hours spent flopped on the lawn staring up, awed at the ever changing panorama of those glittering beings... all winking at each other with some secret smile... and I wondered, thats the secret wink of the Universe... the knowledge so eternally hidden from us...

And then one day, I spotted it. A small cluster of diamonds. Quietly conversing in their own corner. In the unmistakeable form of a Key! There it is, I thought. At long last. The Key to the Secrets of the Universe. And I found it - my own magic Key. If I could only reach out and touch that key.... but it was enough that it was there... somewhere in a quiet corner of the Universe. The answer to everything. And I was joyous! Every night I would lie down at my favourite position on the lawn and watch for the key... On lonely walks from the mess hall to the hostel, I would look up for the key and feel happy. And when those blues hit me, I would seek refuge in the blackness and the key.

Then I hit upon this astronomy book in the library... and located all my favourite constellations - learned to read the Scorpio (my sign!), the Cancer, the Leo, the Archer... and then I came to Taurus - and there it was! My key! It was called the Plaeides constellation. The Plaeides is made up of the seven sisters - Electra, Celaeno, Taygeta, Maia, Merope, Asterope and Alcyone. Alcyone is the principal star and the others are within one degree of Alcyone. More on Plaeides soon...

But gentle reader, someday when you travel the infinite space searching for yourself and come across 7 magnificent stars in the shape of a key - slow down, look around... Somewhere in Plaeides lies the secret of your existence.

Infinite randomness

2005-01-16T04:00:00.000-08:00

Don't know if it has been defined yet.... but for as long as I've known myself, have been (in my quiet unassuming way of crs) helping the cause. We all need to chip in our bit for the sake of the universe... and all that..

Welcome to my world!